The Puppet Show: Minnesota’s Political Circus of Clowns, Vampires, and Useful Idiots
Minnesotans, buckle up—I’ve been knee-deep in this governor race, plowing through the BS like a farmer hitting bedrock. 21 years sniffing out intel ops overseas prepped me for this homegrown swamp, and the patterns? They’re screaming louder than a daycare fraud whistleblower at a DFL fundraiser.
Lately, the real support’s been flooding in: Folks roaring approval on sealing the border tighter than a grifter’s grip on COVID cash, backing Trump’s accountability smackdown, and my vow to torch the DFL syndicate—those nonprofit leeches, corporate enablers, and street-level thieves rigging elections and looting our state blind. Momentum? Building like a freight train.
But then, predictably, the clowns tumble out of the tiny car.
Some political experts and supporters—well-intentioned or not—ambush me: “Phil, you gotta blast emails and slap apps on your site to hoover up contacts!” This, minutes after I torch the party’s data-sharing scams—where voter lists get traded like stolen daycare dollars. And the kicker? Same pundits admit email’s deader than a rigged ballot in a recount. Waste of breath and bucks, I tell ‘em. But they push anyway. Gee, wonder who’s pulling those strings—timing’s impeccable, like a saboteur’s watch.
Then the momentum assassins strike. I nail the syndicate with facts hotter than stolen relief funds, shares go nuclear, people wake up… and boom—“Whoa, Phil, ease up, buddy. Too spicy.” As if exposing racketeers is a negotiable hobby. It’s hilarious, in a dark way: These “allies” materialize like bad plot twists, whispering brakes on anyone actually threatening the feast.
Here’s the festering core, and it’s got me seeing red: A smug little nest of narcissists—self-crowned puppet masters with egos bigger than Walz’s spending spree—treat the rest of us like drooling idiots too stupid to tie our own shoes. They prejudge, manipulate, and exploit, all while smirking that we’re “too dumb to get it.” Newsflash: The vast majority of Minnesotans are sharper than these cynics’ dull consciences. You’re the intelligent backbone they’ve underestimated—for now.
Let’s be clear—there are very good Republicans out there. Hell, even better, there are outstanding people across Minnesota who don’t slap a party label on at all. My months on the road, calls, messages, every damn communication channel—it all proves the same thing over and over: That insulated inner circle of about 200 longtime GOP gatekeepers (and their tentacles into influencer cliques) has been dead wrong for three decades. Losing, losing, and losing again, yet never correcting course. They fancy themselves the sole arbiters of “electability,” dictating the field while dismissing over 5 million Minnesotans as too stupid to know better. If anyone claims I haven’t listened to advice—bull. I’ve made real adjustments based on solid input. But when I push back with data showing their paradigm’s busted, maybe it’s time they step back and reevaluate theirs. Unsolicited advice? Fine—but it opens the door wide for some in return.
To the now 14 Republican candidates in this governor’s race: I commend every single one of you for stepping up and recognizing the urgent need to get Minnesota back on track. Be careful out there—the real enemy isn’t in our primary field. It’s the DFL machine that’s driven us off the cliff, with their paid enablers and syndicate networks causing loss after loss for good Minnesotans. Look across the aisle: The DFL has literally no one stepping forward to expose or contest the massive failures under their watch—the fraud empires, the looting, the rigged systems bleeding our state dry. Don’t let a tiny group of insiders try to cull or limit our strong Republican field; that only plays into their hands. First and foremost, we are children of God and proud Minnesotans. My Park Rapids Pledge stands strong and as we separate ourselves from the pack through substance and independence—like I laid out in “The Truth About Campaign Compromise” —we’ll win this fight by staying open to and truly listening to the voices of 5 million Minnesotans.
The far fringes play the same twisted game, masks aside. The witting operators insert poison “advice,” herd campaigns like sheep to the slaughter, exploit fears and hopes without caring about the carnage. The unwitting? Bless their hearts—they swallow it whole, propping up the exploitation they hate.
To the well-intentioned unwitting: Grace to you—snap out of it before you’re the punchline. Check that “expert” steering you; are they herding you off the cliff?
To the witting power-hoarders: We see your greasy fingerprints. My team and I aren’t rookies. Keep scheming, and we’ll drag you into the light. Hope you packed sunscreen, vampires.
And to you DFL monsters hiding behind fake “grassroots”—all paid activists, top-down communist theater—your days of unchecked criminal looting are numbered.
Please, break the habitual losing behaviors. Stop and think! To those knowingly messing with good people just to cling to power: I see you. May God forgive the harm you’re causing.
At the end of the day, my allegiance is to my Creator. My calling? Defend the exploited, help the misguided walk away from the malicious—and stand with the real majority.
The real hope, from this lifelong Minnesotan, father, farmer, and follower of Christ: God’s truth cuts through lies like dawn on the undead. You’re wise, resilient, and done with the games. We hear you—the fraud, theft, rigged futures. We’re fighting alongside you, and we won’t let misguided minions or malicious masters steal another inch.
Ditch the circus. Join the real cleanup. parrish4mn.com | @phillipcparrish on X | Freedom Talk.
Let’s expose ’em all and reclaim Minnesota—before the clowns run out of makeup.
Phillip C. Parrish
Candidate for Governor of Minnesota 2026
phillip@parrish4mn.com | 1 (612) 460-1717
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